bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
