Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
