The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Come share oat with me in your robe
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
