i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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