The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
