she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
