It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Randomize
