We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
