You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
