sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
