he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
