I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize