did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Randomize
