He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
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