So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
