I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Randomize
