i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
