Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
