Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Randomize
