Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
