Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Randomize
