I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
