spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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