You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
