sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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