Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Randomize
