Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
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