I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
