As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
