Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize
