At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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