That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
