It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
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