I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
