I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize
