he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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