Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize