Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
