I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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