Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
