Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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