I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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