Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
