are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
