after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
