I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
