Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize