Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
