maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
