I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize