just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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