There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
