I bet he comes in French.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
