Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize