Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
it glows. i had to have it.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
