OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
