He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
