halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
