i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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