I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
