The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
