hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
You made out with two different species that night
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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