you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
