lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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