Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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