Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Randomize
