dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
