whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
