I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
