I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
