If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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