the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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