His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
