Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
