im about as happy as oj after his trial
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
