Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize