So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
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