he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I think weed is turning my hair brown
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
