Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
