is this the sara with the beer cane?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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