Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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