Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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